Weekend Coffee

Coffee drinkers like my husband need their coffee EVERY morning.  There is no getting around it.  He needs it intravenously to get up in the morning. Someone, please don't say me, should make a caffeine IV drip that you plug into at night and clicks on at the proper wake up time for coffee drinkers like my hubby.

He told me stories of when he was single and would connect his alarm clock radio to huge speakers to shock him out of the bed.  And even then he would still be late for work.  But at least he had a chance of dragging himself from bed and making his coffee.  If he was lucky, and had remembered, he had loaded the coffee maker the night before and set it to run in the morning.  Knowing his cognitive functioning level prior to his first cup of coffee, I'm surprised he could accomplish this task.

So it does not matter if it is a weekday or a weekend.  For me, this means every day starts the same.  The coffee ritual ensures I am up.  It doesn't mean I'm functioning at my highest cognitive level.  This Saturday morning is an example. We were out "late" last night.  (Since high school, this "late time" has gradually shortened from 4:00am to anything before midnight.)  I went to bed around midnight and had 2 glasses of Merlot while watching a show last night.  

This morning, I awoke at 7:00am to the noises of my husband dealing with cats and dogs.  He's pretty grumpy at this stage of the wake up process and I know he will be back in bed very soon.  I gingerly ask if he would like me to make his coffee yet ("Yeah, sure, whatever......zzzzzzz").  Sometimes he's ok being up and actually asking him now is pointless, because he doesn't remember anything I ask him before his first cup of coffee.  (This has been very interesting to me over the years.)  If I let him sleep, he'll go until noon or even 2:00pm.  I usually wait a bit on weekend mornings unless we have to be somewhere.  

Regardless of when I decide to wake him, the pot of coffee will be ready.  Meanwhile, I'm awake now and have some alone time.  I turn at look out the window:  Ah, beautiful Saturday morning!

Pieces and Parts

I think this will be a short blog.  I just posted a picture on my Facebook page of the pieces I clean every morning with this new, fancy coffeemaker.  And, I'd like to note, this is only an observation and by no means me complaining; because, as I have said before, I enjoy this activity of making coffee each morning.

Until today, I was only washing, rinsing, and drying 6 parts of the coffeemaker. But today I discovered I needed to add in a seventh piece-the coffee filter holder. I guess this daily cleaning process is important to ensure the long life and adequate functioning-in other words, creating quality coffee every day, of this contraption.

This daily ritual reminds of the board game, Mousetrap-oh, I loved that childhood game!  There's all these pieces and parts and they fit together in a specific way and if anything is missing the ball (the water, the beans, the grounds) won't flow down right.  Now I have a reason in life why I played that game and learned to put things together-JUST RIGHT!

(Hears the ding of the coffee bell, realizes it is 6:57am and time to wake up hubby.)

Surprise

When I'm making coffee for my husband in the mornings, I'm not thinking about this being a burden.  This morning I was thinking how lucky and grateful I am that I have such an incredible husband.  (This being quite a feat as I have had 2 failed marriages.)  

My husband often gives me pleasant surprises in small ways.  Many years ago, when I had the old coffee maker which took the paper filters, he left the first of many notes scribbled sweetly on a coffee filter and carefully placed back in the bag of filters.  That morning I was surprised to find a coffee filter with "Good Morning, Milady!  Have a wonderful day!"  He did this infrequently enough that each time it brought joy to my mornings.  

This morning was a different kind of surprise.  He likes to surprise me, I think.  (Sometimes I just need him to tell me what is going on so I know what I should be wearing if he says:  "Get in the car.  We are going for a ride!"  But in general, I like surprises.)  This morning I noticed his wallet and the credit card sitting next to the computer.  He must have bought something, I thought.  What he bought was 2 plane tickets to Washington DC for next month's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert's march.  Although I had expressed how much fun it would be to go, I was surprised to see he had made the next step.  I also know this is a sacrifice for him.  As much as I like crowds and parades and events, he is not into crowds or extended walking.

So, this morning I am grateful for his sacrifices in this relationship and sharing in experiences with me.

Oh, that's the coffee buzzer!  Time to wake him up!

Mundane tasks and clearer thinking?

This morning is a bit different because I'm getting ready for a early morning conference I need to attend.  I'll be leaving the house much earlier than usual.  This requires doing everything in a exponentially shortened time frame.  And I can't decide what to wear.  I've gained 5 pounds since the Las Vegas trip and the clothes are not fitting right.  (I guess I'll go get that fitness club membership today!)  Do I go with the long teal pencil skirt or the short plum business skirt?  And where are the shoes I used to wear with the plum skirt?  Did I really get rid of them and not find a good replacement?  At least I've shoes to wear with the teal skirt.  Time to make coffee.

Of course, there's no real solution to these morning clothes dilemmas, but I'm suddenly compelled to make the morning coffee.  There is something clear and easy about making the coffee each morning and it makes the clothes decision fade.  Maybe it's because it is still quite early and my brain is still trying to get into gear, but making the coffee makes me feel like I am accomplishing something without straining myself.  I create a pot of coffee and run silly clothes scenarios through my head without creating a massive morning headache.  Oddly enough my mundane morning ritual of making coffee helps my brain wake up-and without even drinking a cup of the joe.

There, done and I'm going with the teal pencil skirt.

Nine years, 9/11

This morning I wake to another September 11.  I spend my morning alone time watching a documentary on the aftermath of 9/11 and stories of the survivors.  I feel guilty, or maybe self-indulgent, when I consider my own experience of watching the events, with my 14 year old son, unfold on TV and how I fell to the floor when I saw the towers fall.  My painful memories of that event are nothing compared to those who lost their loved ones and the children who lost their parents.  I think of these people each year this day passes.

In an hour I will make coffee for my loved one.  I will carry out my morning ritual as I do everyday (with the knowledge that others had their morning rituals changed that horrible day).  Coby and I had met online, but not in person on 9/11/01.  We had been chatting online for about a year at that point.  I did not know at that time that he would become my loved one, my husband.  But I remember us sharing in the sadness and loss.  We have been together on every 9/11 since that day.  I am grateful for each day I have with him in my life and it is not lost on me the fragility of life.

In about an hour the reading of the names of the victims will be read and the families will relive this day and their loss. Hopefully, somehow, these people have found ways to move forward, created new morning rituals and embraced a new life.

The New Coffee Maker

I bought my husband a new coffee maker.  It was actually from a misunderstanding.  Our Fifth Anniversary was coming up, but in June we decided we wouldn't get gifts for each other because the big event was going to Las Vegas and we would be spending PLENTY of money at that time.  But about two weeks before the Las Vegas trip, there was a charge on the credit card and when I asked Coby about it he said it was a surprise and not to open the item that came in the mail.  So, of course, I thought maybe I misunderstood and he was getting me a gift after all.  I decided I needed to make sure I had something, too.

Now, buying anything for my husband is difficult.  He is very picky and has specific tastes on what he wants.  The fortunate thing for me was we had just been looking at coffee makers a week or so before so I knew exactly what he wanted.

The old coffeemaker was REALLY old. It was a small coffee maker, but did make 10 cups.  It was at least 10 years old and covered with coffee stains which decorated the inside and outside of the white surface.  I was often afraid the handle on the coffee container would break off every time I filled it with water.  I actually would place my other hand on the bottom of the glass container to ensure it was well supported.  I tried cleaning it, but really it was beyond the power of even the strongest cleaners.  It did have character, though and it did work.

Regardless, Coby did want a new coffee maker with a stainless steel coffee container that would stay hot and a coffee grinder for beans instead of coffee grounds.  I ran down to the outlet mall store in Loveland where we had seen the one he wanted.  But they didn't have in stock any longer.  I then went on the hunt to Kohl's, Target, Sears and a specialty kitchen store.  I ultimately found the one at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

I hid the new coffeemaker in the trunk of my car until, I'd hoped, I could wrap it and bring it to Las Vegas.  A couple of days later, the "gift" Coby had purchased came in the mail.  He invited me over and unwrapped it from the box.  I said it could wait, but he said I had to see it now.  Oh dear, I thought, maybe I misunderstood this.  He pulled it out and it was a Betty Boop item we had ordered for our custom cake we were having made in Vegas.  (Deep Sigh...right.)  So, how to deal with this?  I thought about it through the evening and the next morning and decided I needed to tell him and get it over with. It did bring a good laugh for us.  These are the little things that make memories in a relationship.

A new coffeemaker is another intimidating thing for me.  This one is definitely a step up in coffeemaker style and technical ability.  It requires that 5 parts be cleaned every day to make a new pot of coffee; the coffee container, which is now stainless steel, the coffee filter, which is no longer the disposable paper ones, the coffee filter cover, and both parts of the coffee grinder which sets cleverly into the top of the coffeemaker.  I'm sure this is an engineer's dream, but for me it's just a new gadget I have to figure out and I am NOT a techno-geek.

I did good with the first pot of coffee.  I carefully read the instructions, made sure I put everything together-even the water filter, which was a strange thing to add, and even worked the coffee grinder without a problem.  But as with every new technology, the next few days were learning curves.  First, I ran out of coffee beans and needed to make it with grounds.  Now, I'm not an idiot, but it's times like these where my brain can freeze up and I swear I resort to the IQ of a 5 year old.  I wasn't really thinking things through, just going through some motions.  For some reason unknown reason, I decided to put the coffee grinds into the coffee grinder.  I don't know why.  Was I thinking they would flow like the grounded beans into the filter?  I'm not sure I was thinking.  Anyway, this didn't make ANY coffee.  I realized my error quickly and added the grinds to the coffee filter-whew, coffee!

Another time I forgot to seal the lid of the coffee container.  Now, this is a very bad thing for the person pouring coffee from the container to the cup.  Usually this is me, but on this particular morning, it was Coby and I knew from the yelp that is was the scream of a nasty burning.  OK, so that was NOT GOOD!  In that, honey-I-just-gotta-say voice, he said in the future I need to tighten the lid on the coffee pot.  (Gotcha honey, sorry about that!)

Then there was the positioning of units related to the coffeemaker.  The filter and filter cap must be in the right position and on correctly to prevent grounds in the pot and if the coffee container lid is not in position, water will flow all over the counter.  (OK, so Coby actually made some of these errors and it was quite messy.)

I only made these mistakes once over a month period and learned pretty quickly from them.  I had bought a new coffee maker once when I was with my 2nd husband and it too had it's learning curve.  So although I have had the experience of the new coffeemaker, I also need time working with it.  This one has a definite new morning ritual to it.  I have pieces to clean each morning and I have mental checks to ensure no morning disasters occur.  Not only is it important to make sure it is a good cup of coffee to ensure the coffee drinker has a good morning, but avoiding these little disasters starts my morning off right.

FINAL NOTE:
Oh, and fittingly, we took the old coffeemaker to Las Vegas and left it in the Riveria Hotel suite we stayed in.  My last morning using it was the end of our wonderful trip and vow renewal in Las Vegas.

Daily Coffee Ritual

I don't drink coffee, but I make it everyday.  And the funny thing is, I don't mind doing it. I enjoy it.  But I really don't like, ok, I hate, coffee.  I'm a tea drinker.  

So how did my life get to an activity that I would never do for myself, but I gladly do every day for someone else?   I've thought for many years on this topic and it really is the story of how we all relate to others in lives, make sacrifices-that are (Elton John) No Sacrifice At All, and conduct our daily lives.  

My life, and I know I'm not alone, has its routines.  Before I was married my morning routine never included making coffee.  It also didn't include making breakfast or typing on a computer or getting morning food for the dogs.  I am an early morning person; particularly annoying when you are married to a night person, but more on that in another blog.  I wake up between 4 and 5 am every morning.  I start my morning turning on the television, checking email, which there is really not much that has come through since I checked before going to bed, and reading morning news, not that anything has happened over night, but I do it anyway.  I love this morning time, by myself, relaxing, just before the dogs figure out I'm awake and they can go outside and get their morning grub from me.   At 6:30 am I rise from the chair, turn up the TV so I can hear it in the other room and begin the coffee ritual.  

It was my second husband who taught me how to run a coffeemaker.  I found them quite daunting and since I don't drink coffee, how would I know it wasn't too weak or too strong?  And then there was the parts...like looking at the engine of a car. Ok, maybe not as complicated as that, but why learn it, anyway?  I was in my late 20s when I made my first cup of coffee, for my 2nd husband, using the scary coffeemaker.  He needed my help after injuring his arm and REALLY needed his cup of morning coffee.  Coffee drinkers are funny that way.  They are pretty grumpy without their cup of coffee and it's in MY best interest to not deal with a grumpy husband.  So I happily made that first cup of coffee for him.  He guided me through the process:  open the coffee filter cup, insert the coffee filter, add the coffee grounds, close the filter cup, take the coffee decanter and fill it with water, open the top of the coffeemaker and pour in the water, insert the coffee decanter and push the button.  Magic.  Hot Coffee.  Oh, and he drank it pretty black-no adding sugars or creamers to his coffee.  That made it easy.  And, voila, happy husband.  This is what makes a married life.  

I hadn't thought that it would become a daily ritual for me.  I think those start off in spurts going from once a week to twice a week to, well, you can see how this progresses.  "Honey, can you bring me a cup of coffee?"  "Sure, be right back."  And before you know it you are doing it because it's not that hard and it makes your lover happy.  

He tried to get me to like it too.  Once he took me to a coffee shop and ordered me chocolate coffee.  Something so sweet and delicious you weren't supposed to taste the coffee.  Then there was the caramel coffee, I love caramel, but alas, I couldn't get past the coffee taste.  I can't even eat Tiramusu.  I know, it's bad.  I’m just not a coffee lover, although I respect coffee drinkers and the pleasure they receive from it.

Coffee drinkers are even more pronounced in the workplace.  When I worked at Washington Mutual Bank I had to make coffee a couple of times a week.  It can be difficult to work with a coworker who hasn’t had enough coffee yet.    Although I didn’t make it in the office because I wanted to, I made it because I was told to make it as part of my job.  Personally, in the workplace, I think people should make their own coffee.  I don’t like being blamed for bad coffee when I’m not a person who understands good or bad coffee. 

Now I work from home so the one I please is my husband.  And he’s pretty easy.  It really is No Sacrifice.